Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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