i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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