I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
