I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
