need another drink. this is the easiest way
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
