I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
