all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
