I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
