i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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