For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
