Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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