All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
