i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
