wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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