i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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