Swine flu. Run for my life!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize