i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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