Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize