So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
