i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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