my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
one might say we're banned from that church
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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