Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize