Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
