hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
