i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I have aggressive nipples.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
