i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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