I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
