there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
