waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
