His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Come see our sink grown plant.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
