Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
