She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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