Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
