we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
