apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
