did you get engaged???
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Are we still banned from the library?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
