Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
