he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We need to get me chipped asap
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
