I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
