): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
