I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize