I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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