Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We are all done wearing pants today
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
