I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
