when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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