Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
