This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
