Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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