why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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