i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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