She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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