You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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