none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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