yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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