im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
