so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize