If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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